You think you’re over your traumatic experience, but there it is. Your partner’s disappointed face as you say once again, “Not tonight, honey”. Not because of poor libido, but because of a range of images and feelings that strike terror in your body at the thought of having sex. Can Sexual Desire be Restored after Sexual Trauma? So many women who experienced sexual trauma – whether through years of groming, daterape or simply unwanted touch. Sexual abuse or sexual assault can happen to anyone at any point in our lives, regardless of age, gender, or socio-economic status. Many women who seek out trauma therapy come to the point when they are over the worst, only to find themselves feeling the familiar feelings of terror, and overwhelm in the bedroom. It’s common for survivors to feel dissociated, hypervigilant, anxious, and experience symptoms of trauma like flashbacks, nightmares, or panic attacks. When it comes to sex and intimate relationships, these symptoms can feel like insurmountable obstacles. If you’re single, you may feel profoundly scared of dating again, anxious about being alone with someone new, or experience feelings of isolation and loneliness. If you’re partnered, you may feel an aversion to having your significant other touch you, fear engaging in sexual activities you once enjoyed, or simply want to withdraw from the relationship altogether. If it was your partner who committed the assault, the repercussions can be even more complicated. Even if in a safe and secure relationship, sex can remain triggering in so many ways. The lack of consent during the assault experience has a crippling efffect on our sense of safety and changes our own relationship with others. Clients have described panic at the sight of their husbands hovering over them, and they experience overwhelming memories of being overpowered that make it impossible to continue the act. Others find that touch to specific parts of the body (stomach, back, breasts etc) can bring back painful flashes of being hurt. If sex is tainted by trauma, please get in touch at [email protected]. In my practice I have worked with hundreds of sexual abuse survivors. We work on the trauma experience extensively, but then turn our focus specifically to sex-related triggers. I urge women who find themselves triggered by the sex act to reach out. There is so much that we can do together that will help transform your most intimate relationship.

Dr Amrit Kaur provides counselling for co-parenting, helping parents improve communication, manage conflict, and support their children’s emotional wellbeing.

Child sexual abuse counselling in Singapore with Dr Amrit Kaur. Therapy focused on healing trauma, restoring trust, and supporting emotional recovery.